Survivor or Caregiver
TBI One Love Survivor Catherine Coates
My name is Catherine, I was hit with a TBI about 6 years ago on November 15th of 2011.
I was doing drugs, and drinking alcohol while driving, like I always did. Though this time, I hadn't done this specific drug for a while, building my body up a tolerance. So, when I did this drug, I was used to doing a certain amount and being good. So, when I wanted to get rid of the paraphernalia, I stuck the straw in the whole bag, and just over-dosed, having a seizure, going off the road, down a big hill, and wrapping car around a big pecan tree.
Thank goodness, I was blasting my radio enough to wake up the very kind family, who (the mother is like a second mother to me). The mother, my guardian Angel happened to know people from the police force, and EMT.
She kindly looked in my wallet, finding my Families (who lived 7hrs away) contact info, and had the police here (my Parents house) knock on the door at 3am. The one officer told my Parents that by the time they would get up there I would probably be dead. I can't imagine how that must have been for that 7hr drive.
The Doctor’s, put me in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks. Then drove me down to a Hospital near my Parents house; Then for the next year I did Physical and Occupational therapy.
Now I live at my parents. Walk ‘ugly’ (I call it) my foot turns inward, swings out, and my left arm and hand are paralyzed. I don't fall anymore; my balance is good now that I feel safe!
I have been on a few dates, I’m going to school again, since I am physically unable to work in my licensed fields, radiology, and MRI. I still do continuing EDU. each year, to keep my license; because it looks good on paper. I am staying in the medical field, but this time doing things very different.
I deal with a lot of depression, anxiety, and insomnia from my TBI, where my thoughts of wishing so much that I had died, are getting fewer! Every day, I look in the mirror, and I see this fat, ugly, ugly, MONSTER I have become. I am so obsessed with how I used to look; its ruining my life.
I used to be a bikini model, a ballerina, a star athlete who was the best in fl. at one point. I am such a disappointment. I’m still super sensitive to where someone tells me to get the mail, I could use the exercise. It just kills me!
So where am I today? I’m still a recluse by choice because I'm scared of people, and have nowhere to go, anyone to meet. I lost my license and my car still. I’m still a miserable brain damaged cripple. I hate myself all day everyday.
Thank you for letting me join this helpful group, I hope to see if anyone can relate and vice versa!