• Survivor or Caregiver

TBI One Love Survivor Kristy Tornga

Hello, my name is Kristy Tornga.

On July 5th of 2012, my ex-husband (who I considered a friend. Still do, most days ;) brought our dog home to me at my newer apartment in North Dallas. I just moved to N Dallas for a new independent start at life and too be closer to my employment.  Approximately a few hours later... I’m in a coma, 2 weeks pregnant. Life support was necessary. (Exact procedures & time length uncertain).

About 3 months earlier, I had gone on vacation? I desired something like never before with plenty of distance and time. So, I booked a trip to CHINA. No specific reason. Just thought it would be neat and very different. I was correct. In process of preparation, there were vaccinations, passports and some other legal paperwork including a living will including a DNR. These papers would have been applicable in these situations. The main reason it was Not (I was told approximately a year after my cognition was up to par) was because in Texas, at the time (haven't researched lately), DNRs were not honored, if the individual was Pregnant since the living infant was dependent on the person!!! Without life support, I almost certainly, would have died. So, on life support, unresponsive in a coma… not looking so good!

I was a “3” on the Glasgow scale. Approximately 4 weeks later (I'm still trying to get medical reports to confirm exact times. I’m told a few weeks earlier, but we're going by what “I” remember!) ...One morning in mid-September 2012, I open my eyes. A female nurse was rubbing my belly. I immediately pushed her and prolly not the best choice of words asked her what she was doing. With a puzzled look she said, checking the baby! You're two months pregnant. What!!!!!! She quickly left and said they'd be right back! At first blink, I look around 1) I’m in an enclosed hospital bed (apparently, I was a bit (just assuming, A Lot “bit”) and 2) Where’s my hair; -!

Seriously, what in the hell did I get myself into?!? And very fuzzy flashback… reveals to my cognition, I'm Pregnant!!! Well apparently, the nurse that morning “saw” my question on my face because I was not clearly speaking. So now I’m aware I’m alive. I’m pregnant. I’m confined in a hospital bed. I can't walk. I can't talk. I can't EAT and I’m PREGNANT. Next several (the longest definition of “several” I have used, by the way) weeks, and months began the Road. (Just a guess but sure most readers get what I mean.) If I wasn’t in Speech, Occupational or Physical Therapies and more, I laid in a hospital bed with overactive thinking, anxiety, and confusion to keep it basic.

Oh, my Lord the discharge day was finally here. The middle of October!!! Talk about ecstatic!! To this day, I cannot compare the feeling of release/relief. Yes, the journeys going to be long!! I've heard that. Over and Over and Over. I didn't care. I was moving to tomorrow, instead of lying in a bed just Counting over 1,2, 3,9999, 1000 and Over and Over Discharged day, Ahhh, Yay… Well, my sister (power of attorney {legality questionable, only biological family, around at this point-at her discretion) was in Mexico. Getting married. A couple, (that I was very close to and they were renting My house at the time,) was there. Period. They took me home, not to the apartment in Dallas! Home. The house I built. The house they were living in! I couldn't eat!  They fed me (by tube), helped me bath, assisted with medicines, took me to Dr appt.s, held my hand starting rehab programs, and yeah, much more.

Cognitively gaining control of this thing called Life, I left there and went to live with family, that stepped in/up. Then, back to my house that a friend, turned boyfriend helped settle in to. Then, my biological father, graciously came to live with and help me and my SON. Yes, my TWO-YEAR-OLD son, who was perfectly healthy and blessed with the energy of, hmm, guessing, 16-year-old boy! (I said HE was blessed with that energy, not ME. So, rehab?! Hah, rehab got nothing on this boy!

Dec 2015. Approximately 3 ½ years from that fateful day, I asked my father to move out. I was ready, or so I determined! He lovingly conceded and intentionally stayed nearby to be on hand. I Know has another couple graciously added to my family. A friend and her husband who live within five minutes of my doorstep are Here, right Here to help my son and I live a production fulfilling “Normal”, life! I have always desired independence. I was forced to learn how to be dependent. In the process, my Heart and eyes have been opened to a new realm. We're here today, we could be (and one day will be) gone tomorrow.

oh, it was what Gods provided. A couple that I have said thought she wanted baby lived w/family. Major conflict, leaned on friend in the past that I dated left baby knowing he'd be well taken care while I was quickly coming up with a plan moved into the house I built 13 yrs. prior (had rented out to be in Dallas near work)

Got boy back (had to trip loved ones into giving my son back)bf ways awesome to son but verging on verbally abusive to me. My father was unavailable till this time (about 2 yrs. after accident) Regardless!!!! I was told I needed to accept that I may never be able to walk or live independently (especially not w/a baby)

Fast forward! 4 ½ years later. I live alone with my son traveling by vehicle (after scoring 55 on driving test)!

We live in the home I built at a time when children were not in my future. He's 4. Playing soccer. Fishing w/his grandad. I'm writing this while on a weekend trip to Possum Kingdom lake with my Dad & my son!!

Saw a friend, very close friend playing a show last night. Ran into several people that I've known. Felt like me. So, I independently single handily, provide for myself and my son. His father was introduced into his life about 8mos ago and is going well. I am hoping to get back to an employment position like my previous, on a part time basis!!

So, I have severe nerve damage on my right side from the tips of my toes to my fingertips. I go to barre and cycling 4-6 times per week. My smile is crooked, I take selfies anyway. For years, I begged and prayed for a different life. I'm at a place that I would have sincerely swore I would never be. Would I trade this space? So, I'm here like everyone else, I have happiness and sadness like everyone else. But We are not Everyone else. My eyes are clearer than before and my heart, a little bigger. I am where I am supposed to be.

*after a medical procedure when I was 15, I was told that my case of endometriosis was one of the worst they’d and I would have a minor chance of pregnancy. And for 16 years and 2 marriages, no baby's! I was moving from a Fort Worth to Dallas and had an appointment changing OBGYN.!!! 1 week without birth control!!! Boom!!! The rest is history. 4 year’s worth of history at this point.

Thank you for allowing me to join this helpful Family!

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